What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

How can you tell if someone is cunning?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Have you ever had sex with sisters?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

Has anyone ever had sex with their cousin? How did it start, and would you do it again?

What! how could you do that?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What should I do if I love someone who does not love me?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.